You’ll Never Feel Ready, and That’s OK
By Amanda Davies, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Trained Counsellor & Qualified Life Coach
Are you someone who keeps waiting until you feel ready before you make that move towards a goal? It’s a common belief that many people have - that one day we’ll suddenly wake up and finally feel ready to do the thing.
Ready to change careers.
Ready to leave the relationship.
Ready to start going to the gym.
Ready to begin studying that course.
Ready to launch the business.
But what most people don’t realise is that usually, the ones who do start, don’t always feel completely ready before they begin. Something is compelling them forward, yes, maybe expectations, maybe desperation, maybe excitement, but readiness is rarely a feeling. More often, it’s just a decision made despite all the uncertainty also being felt.
Many people spend years waiting for the confidence, certainty, motivation or just the “right time” when all the circumstances align, before taking action. They make plans, but nothing changes, and so nothing changes.
If you’ve read my previous blog on overwhelm, anxiety and self-protection, you’ll already know that this hesitation so many people feel, has far less to do with laziness or lack of discipline or some special personality feature, or even luck!
Why the Brain Resists Change
As human beings we are wired to seek safety and familiarity - that means keeping things relatively the same. We are creatures of habit for good reason. If we have survived til now with this set of straegies to get through life, why change? This may not be how you actually think, but on a subconscious level, your nervous system is reading and responding to the environment on your behalf. Even positive changes can activate stress responses in the nervous system because growth involves uncertainty, vulnerability and risk - you’re moving out of your familiar comfort zone afterall.
Your logical mind might want the new opportunity, relationship, business, habit or lifestyle change, meanwhile, another part of you (unconsciously) is asking:
What if I fail?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if this becomes overwhelming?
What if I can’t maintain it?
What if people judge me?
This internal conflict can look like procrastination, avoidance, overthinking or good ol’ “analysis paralysis”.
The brain is attempting to protect you from discomfort, even when that discomfort could ultimately lead to growth.
Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations
One of the biggest reasons people stay stuck is because they unknowingly make change feel psychologically enormous.
They set extreme expectations:
“I need to completely transform my life.”
“I have to stay motivated every day.”
“I need to do this perfectly.”
“I should already have this figured out.”
That pressure creates overwhelm before they even begin.
And when the nervous system feels overwhelmed, many people move into freeze states, avoidance or complete shutdown.
Ironically, for a lot of people I see in clinic, the more pressure they place on themselves, the harder it becomes to take the necessary actions to have the success they want. This is why learning to work with the nervous system and subconscious mind, rather than against it, is so important.
Stop waiting for the right mood before you begin
One of the most important things people can learn is that action does not require the perfect emotional state first. In fact, practicing doing the thing no matter how you feel is one way to build self-trust and confidence. You can begin while feeling:
tired
anxious
uncertain
overwhelmed
sad
unmotivated
energetically flat
In psychology, there’s a concept called behavioural activation, which essentially means that action itself can help shift emotional state, energy and motivation.
In other words, movement creates momentum.
Not the other way around.
This is why people frequently notice they feel better after:
going for a walk
arriving at the gym
making the call they’ve been putting off
starting the easiest task on the list
Getting ready and leaving the house
Sitting down to study for ten minutes
One simple technique I often recommend is using a countdown method:
5… 4… 3… 2… 1… then move.
Get up. Stand up. Begin before the brain has time to negotiate its way back into avoidance.
It sounds simple, but small behavioural interruptions can be incredibly effective for shifting freeze states and creating forward momentum.
Confidence Comes After Action
A lot of epople believe confidence is something you either have or you don't and that you need to have confidence first before you can do the thing. But most often, and especially when it's something quite new or different to the things you’ve already mastered, confidence will be a result of feeling competent. And unless you’re doing the thing that you’re somehow naturally gifted at, it will take practice learning a new skill.
Confidence is then built through repeated experiences of showing up for yourself, tolerating discomfort and learning that you can survive uncertainty.
FAIL - First Attempt In Learning
Every time you follow through on something, even something small, your brain begins gathering evidence:
I can do hard things.
I can trust myself.
I can move forward even when uncomfortable.
Even if I fail, I am learning and improving.
And over time, this is what builds genuine confidence and self-trust.
Sometimes Progress is Small
It’s important to feel like you’re moving towards a goal. It is part of what makes life meaningful - and innate to our biological nature. The pursuit of a desire - whether that is something to eat for dinner, or going after a bigger personal or professional goal.
And progress is important. Remember that movement creates momentum, and it can be as small and simple as
making the phone call
attending the appointment
replying to the email
reading one page
getting outside for ten minutes
doing the workout even if its slower or shorter than you’d like
These small steps matter more than you might realise.
Change rarely happens through one huge breakthrough. More often, it happens through small moments of action repeated consistently over time.
So when you feel overwhelmed, stuck or frozen, try asking yourself:
“What is one small thing I can do right now?”
Sometimes the smallest movement forward is enough to change the direction entirely.
If you need help getting into the frame of mind to get started with more ease, hypnotherapy is a highly effective tool that can remove the unconscious resistance you might experience that makes it harder to begin.
Call us on 08 9328 9233 to book a free 15 minute discovery call to find out how clinical hypnotherapy with Amanda Davies could help you, or go right ahead and book online now.